It’s one-of-a-kind, a wild international bacchanal where all bodies are beautiful, there’s no such thing as “too outrageous,” and unbridled celebration of queer sexiness is the rule of the land.
Imagine there’s a queer nightclub that feels like home. You walk in tricked out in whatever style makes you feel amazing about yourself-- not only is there no dress code here, but you can even be completely naked. The room is full of fascinating, gorgeous, diverse queers from across the LGBTQIA+ spectrum, an international guest list, and you’re always one of the VIPs. You can get any drinks you want, whether poured hard or strictly sober, and you can even get Chinese takeout delivered.
The music is pumping, spun by the fiercest DJs, and you can feast your eyes on pole dancers, gogo dancers, striptease artists, and other performers. Everyone’s welcoming and full of joy, no one’s grinding on you on the dance floor without your consent, and the whole room is chatting and flirting like mad. And unlike most nightclubs, you can actually talk to each other. (Via text chat-- so you won’t miss a word.)
That’s your Saturday night at Joie de Vivre’s Queer Dance Naked Party, online every week on the queer and sex-positive-centric Joy Platform.
The Origin of Queer Dance Naked Party
Joie de Vivre’s founder, sassy classy Sarah Massey, found herself quarantined in Paris on a trip to visit her parents just as the entire world was shutting down due to COVID-19. With her life and plans completely thrown into chaos, she rallied and immediately sought a way to bring her queer and sex-positive communities worldwide together in the way she does best-- through dance, music, joy, organizing, and personal expression. Massey wanted to create an online “nightclub” that would fill the void left by the closing of so much of queer nightlife and Pride, spaces that are vital to preserving our community. But commercial tech has issues-- security breaches, trollish “Zoom bombers”, AI spying, conservative user rules, and censorship. What’s a hot bi biker babe who wants a naked queer party to do? Well, if you’re Sarah Massey, you go out and partner with an amazing tech developer to build you a whole new platform for your brand-new quarantine-driven business! Thus was born the Joy Platform: a Zoom-like virtual environment that’s completely secure, has no recording function at all, requires a login from a valid email address, does no spying, and is designed to cater to queer and sex-positive programming serving a variety of sexual orientations. There is no recording allowed at any event, which means you have to be there to catch it.
What You’ll Experience at Queer Dance Naked Party
The parties kick off every Saturday at 8:30 PM EST and run till 10:30 PM EST. When you enter, you’ll see a wall of hotties-- one of the house rules is that everyone attending has to stay on camera, to keep it social. A DJ will be spinning irresistible dance music, so crank it as loud as you want. The chat stream runs like a dancing river down the side of your screen, where everyone’s joking and flirting and saying hi-- don’t be surprised if a dozen or more people you’ve never met shout you out in welcome!
Every camera thumbnail is a window into an alternate reality. You’ll see people chilling at their desks with headphones on, sipping tea, and grooving to the beat. You’ll see others dancing like everyone’s watching, some of them with party lights flickering colors off their gleaming flesh, or backdrops shimmering to dress up their bedrooms. Some folx will show off props-- glow poi or hula hoops, snap fans, whips. One or more featured pro performers will put on a show, doing drag or pole tricks, stripping, chair-dancing, it’s always different and exciting.
You never know what you’ll see-- one ambassador for the party even likes to cook on camera in their underwear! That means you can bring your own unique touch to the night. Do some live painting, throw tarot for people, adorn yourself in body paint, drip wax on your submissive, put on a puppet show...the limit is your imagination. And the crowd loves it!
Chatting adds a whole dimension to the night that you’d never get in a live club. You’ll never strain to understand what someone just said. You can talk to everyone in the room at once. The vibe is super chill, so everyone’s pretty open to hearing from you or throwing around compliments like beads at Mardi Gras. Clicking hard with someone? You have the option to message them privately if you two want to get more intimate. Massey tells me that people are hooking up all the time, around the globe.
Best of all, once someone comes to Queer Dance Naked Party, they’re likely to become a regular. That means that almost immediately, you’re plugged into a queer, body-positive social scene where you’re seeing friends and familiar faces every time-- no more feeling lost in the crowd!
So Do I Have to Be Naked? Or Dancing? Or Queer?
This party caters to the LGBTQIA+ community, so in general everyone there is going to be some flavor of queer. There’s no validation station to make you prove your identity, however, so if you’re an ally, uncertain who you are, or just taking your first curious baby steps into queerdom, you’ll be welcomed and not questioned. As long as you’re respecting the queer vibe and following the house rules, you’re gold.
And no, you don’t have to be naked, ever, if you don’t want to. That part of the name is an encouragement to be as liberated in your self-expression as you want to be, not a requirement. You do have to be okay with other people being naked on camera-- at the heart of Joie de Vivre’s values is loving inclusiveness, so there’s no room for body-shaming, fatphobia, sexism, transphobia, racism, or general mean-spirited snark. You’ll see people of all genders, body types, sizes, and personal styles from very mainstream to punk AF, so there’s no need to worry that you won’t fit in with the crowd aesthetic.
Dancing is also up to you. Obviously, a dance party is a lot more fun when people are, you know, dancing-- and Joie De Vivre’s DJs are phenomenal! But if your fondest wish is to curl up in a blanket burrito on your couch with a bowl of Cheetos, your cat, and a knitting project while you hang with the hotties, you’ll be every bit as welcome. In fact, self-care is encouraged, so you’ll probably get cheered on for taking a water break or fetching yourself a snack.
Tips for Your Best Queer Dance Naked Party Experience
There’s nothing wrong with just showing up one night to check out the scene and see how it feels. If you’ve had a long day and you’re too beat to beat your face or put on your party shoes, you can come as you are. But if you want to make the most of the night and really connect with the community there, here are some ways you can set yourself up to shine:
Run wild through your closet! What do you love to wear that you don’t get to wear enough? What outfits make you feel sexy and shout out your personality? Everyone loves enjoying each other’s eye candy, so unleash your fashionista and get ready for it to be a great conversation-starter.
Naked doesn’t have to mean naked. If you’re feeling frisky and want to show some skin, you can still get creative with it. Body paint (maybe with a black light wand?), belly chains, garter belts with stockings, feathered wings, wigs, temp tattoos, harnesses, heels, there are so many ways to accessorize your glorious flesh temple!
Location, location, location. Where will you log on to the party? If you want to dance, set yourself up in your most wide-open space. Or throw fresh sheets on the bed to roll around and lounge. Think about your mood lighting, your background, the cool art that’ll be in the frame. Find a place that’s both scenic and comfortable.
Stand out with your talent. What might you want to do to entertain yourself and others besides dancing? Set up a screen and project your favorite photos, sketch your fantasies, mix elaborate drinks, dazzle everyone with your flow toys, tie yourself into a shibari rope dress. Anything eye-catching gives those hotties in the room something to remember about you-- and a reason to talk to you!
Create your own club. If you have the resources to hook up colored lights, fog or bubble machines, screens, backdrops, or other decorations, you transform your own reality while giving everyone else a taste of your fantasy.
Meet your people! One of the things you’ll quickly discover about these parties is how truly welcoming and friendly everyone is. It can feel super awkward to be in a room where you don’t know anyone, and if you’re at all shy it can be even harder, but people will greet you and start conversations. Take a chance on the chat! Because no one can go home with each other, there’s no need for anyone to screen their interactions through the desire for a hookup, and that makes everyone much more willing to talk to everyone else. (Although, as I mentioned before, Massey reminds me that people are hooking up virtually and she loves when that happens!)
Bring a wingperson or have a physically-distant date. Nervous about attending “alone”? Hit up a hottie to meet on the virtual dance floor. You’ll introduce someone else to the joys of Joy Platform, and it’s likely that by the end of the night, you’ll feel so at home that you’ll be counting the days till next Saturday.
Take care of yourself! Here, there’s no pressure to drink or do drugs or even chat about it, if you’re sober. You don’t have to leave the party to get your jumbo slice when you’re hungry. There’s no line for the bathrooms (one assumes!) If you’re tired and your feet hurt, there’s your favorite place to sit, right there. Hell, you can go change into your jammies if you need to. Do whatever you need to do to feel great, including jumping out of the party for a break and coming back later.
Gift tickets. The Joie De Vivre queers know that this is a tough time for many. They’ve set up a gifting system so ticket buyers pay it forward and gift free tickets for those experiencing economic hardship. There are always a few available, so just let them know. They want you there.
P.S. Queer Dance Naked Party Will Outlive Quarantine
Joie de Vivre, Joy Platform, and the Queer Dance Naked Party may have come about because of the unique pressures of the pandemic, but they’re not just a stop-gap until we can socialize in person. They’re here to stay! Other events and services are emerging from the rainbow fountain of creativity that is Joie de Vivre, like book club and queer yoga, and there’ll always be an online component to connect queers around the world.
And think of it: When the pandemic ends and we’re out and about in our new normal lives, wouldn’t it be amazing to pre-game your night at Queer Dance Naked Party before you head out to your local club or bar? Isn’t it a comfort to think about being able to come back to your home-within-your-home and see friends from all over the world? Wouldn’t it be great to not have total FOMO if you can’t get out on the town but still crave some party energy on the weekend? And, ultimately, not all of us can make it to the club, or even want to. Having a safer online space, with no spying or recording, means more accessibility for all of us.
Here’s a secret: YOU are what Queer Dance Naked Party needs right now! Your energy, your style, your personality, your sparkling wit, your dance moves, your creativity, even simply your joyful presence-- those are the things that create this unique, diverse, beautiful and life-changing queereality we’re building together.